Reflections on inner child work

Trauma, in its many forms, can separate us from our awareness, our bodies and our feelings of wholeness and connection. Science informs us that 75% of human brain development happens by the age of 3 and 90% of it happens by the age of 5. As we develop we experience varying degrees of trauma. Luckily nature equips us with protective mechanisms to cope when our lives (or our feelings) are threatened. After a threat has passed, we may still hold on to its energy. While this protection was necessary in the moment, it may no longer serve to help us in our adult lives. Instead it can block us from fulfillment, love, and freedom. Wounded parts can get covered up, rejected, or go unprocessed. They can become blockages manifesting in our bodies, leading to physical, emotional, mental and spiritual pain and illness. They can shift the way we perceive and participate in life in general.

Core beliefs based on our wounding can feel like truth, such as “people will leave me” or “I am not worthy,” or “I am too much.” These wounds can even be preverbal or ancestral, therefore not as accessible through talk therapy. Both our traumas and our healing contribute to the creation of patterns of beliefs and behaviors that may serve to help us or harm us. Our choices are commonly shaped by what is familiar, much of it, unconscious. Attachment wounds (based on early experiences with our parents/caregivers) inform our reactions to both the situations and people that we want to attract and the ones we would like to shed. We hold memories in our bodies from our initial experiences and relationships. This is not a fault or weakness, it is simply part of being human.

Bravery, awareness, curiosity, and humility are some initial steps toward unwinding and then re-creating the truest version of ourselves, the core that has become dormant or replaced by outdated defenses. It has been my experience that we all hold both our wounded child (often in many parts), and our wise elder within ourselves. As we explore the former through curiosity & compassion, we may uncover the latter through consistency, honesty, and connection. Through these channels we are able to create new beliefs, new behaviors and new possibilities. 🌿